A Musical Guide To The NCAA's Top Six Seeds

(Pittsburgh's Finest - Gregg Gillis, aka: Girl Talk, Mashing Up Basketball & Flowers)

I'm all for writing gimmicks...so I figured why not combine two things I'm interested in: music and college basketball. I will now attempt to break down the No. 1 and No. 2 seeds in this year's NCAA Tournament by associating them with a band and song, that I find appropriate from the very recent past. Be prepared for subjectivity the likes of which you've never seen! Let's get this thing underway as we're dangerously close to tip off. As always, rock 'n' roll.

Pittsburgh Panthers - #1 East

• Band/Album: Girl Talk - Feed The Animals
• Key Lyric: Too many notable lines to choose a single one. Just like Panthers have too many outstanding qualities to merely point out a couple. But if I have to choose a lyric, why not this one: "Now YOU...I'm jocking on you, I'm jocking on you. And if we get ta fightin' then I'm cocking on you, I'm cocking on you." - Don't Stop
• Public Perception: The Pitt Panthers and Girl Talk have given the city of Pittsburgh credibility in areas where they had not previously received honors or respect. Both come at you for (roughly) 40 minutes without stopping, demanding your complete focus, attention, and energy. The two have similar devoted fan bases...developed over years of understated notoriety. Both are also ridiculously entertaining.
• Eventual Outcome: This year's Pitt squad is the direct result of a decade's worth of program-building, recruiting, dedication, ignoring player's minor run-ins with the law, and hard work. The Panthers are built and suited for their first Final Four run ever. Girl Talk's success is the direct result of relentless touring and relentlessly perfecting the art of the mash-up. Every artist of a similar ilk from here-on-out will owe a HUGE debt of gratitude to Gregg Gillis for paving the way.
• Optional Applicable Song: Famous For Nothing - Dropkick Murphys

North Carolina Tar Heels - #1 South

• Band/Album: Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
• Key Lyric: "And I told you to be patient, and I told you to be fine, and I told you to be balanced, and I told you to be kind" - Skinny Love
  
• Public Perception: North Carolina has been patient through a preseason filled with hype, and a regular season where they could only play down to those monumental expectations. As President Obama said, the Tar Heels are balanced...and that's why he liked them. They are also "fine", in the sense that Mega Star Ty Lawson's game is fine whenever he's on the court without a big toe injury. Um...the state of North Carolina and Bon Iver's music could both be called rustic at times?
  
• Eventual Outcome: Both North Carolina and Bon Iver should thrive...as long as they can avoid random debilitating setbacks. That would be Ty Lawson's big toe for the Tar Heels and Justin Vernon actually finding a long-term fulfilling relationship for Bon Iver.
• Optional Applicable Song: Raise Up (The North Carolina Song) - Petey Pablo

Connecticut Huskies - #1 West

• Band/Album: Lil Wayne - Tha Carter III
• Key Lyric: "A mili, a mili, a mili, a mili, a-mil, a-mil, a mili, a mili, a mili, a mili" - A Mili
• Public Perception: As Jim Calhoun told us earlier this season, he makes "a lot more than" 1.6 millon dollars a year to coach UConn men's basketball. Lil Wayne is a Cash Money Millionaire. Jim Calhoun is just a regular old millionaire. Need I Say more?
• Eventual Outcome: The Huskies are probably doomed to be the first #1 seed to fall in the tournament. Jim Calhoun will be just fine with his stacks of money. And Lil Weezy is going to have to reevaluate his career if he's serious about putting out this "rock" record he's been working on.
• Optional Applicable Song: Got Money (feat. T-Pain) - Lil Wayne

Louisville Cardinals - #1 Midwest

• Band/Album: Los Campesinos! - Hold On Now, Youngster...
• Key Lyric: "I invented you (I invented you) AND I WILL DESTROY YOU!" - Death to Los Campesinos!
• Public Perception: Los Campesinos! is a seven-piece indie pop band made up of quite young musicians from Wales. Louisville is a team that goes (at least) seven players deep, with the only truly experienced player being Terrance Williams. The Big East "invented" the Cardinals back in 2005, when they asked Louisville to join the conference. It was only a matter of time before they "destroyed" that conference...winning both the regular season and tournament title this year.
• Eventual Outcome: Can youth and inexperience lead to one's downfall? Louisville is on fire entering the NCAA Tournament. Los Campesinos! are cranking out 2 albums a year and gaining a lot of positive momentum. Here's to hoping the kids from Wales keep growing in their craft...while Louisville fizzles out.
• Optional Applicable Song: Swagga Like Us (Feat. Kanye West, Jay-Z, & Lil Wayne, & M.I.A.) - T.I (they are the #1 overall seed afterall)

Memphis Tigers - #2 West

• Band/Album: The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
• Key Lyric: "That’s alright I was desperate too, I’m getting pretty sick of this interview.
  Subpoenaed in Texas, sequestered in Memphis. Subpoenaed in Texas, sequestered in Memphis" - Sequestered In Memphis
• Public Perception: The Hold Steady and the Memphis Tigers may be on the verge of wearing out their "new" and "hip" factors after both having outstanding and well publicized years in 2008. Does coach John Calipari feel sequestered in Memphis? Probably not after being threatened by John Chaney while at UMass years ago. Both always seem to get too much or too little respect...never the right amount.
• Eventual Outcome: Memphis has become the popular choice to reach the Final Four from the West region. The Hold Steady will seek to become more popular this summer while opening for the Dave Matthews Band. Let's wait and see how all that works out for both sides.
  
• Optional Applicable Song: Walking In Memphis - Cher

Duke Blue Devils - #2 East

• Band/Album: Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
• Key Lyric: "The pin-striped men of morning are coming for to dance, With pure Egyptian Cotton, The kids don't stand a chance" - The Kid's Don't Stand A Chance
• Public Perception: Whether it's Vampire Weekend or Duke basketball, people love to talk about these polarizing forces (a LOT) whether they love them or hate them. Very divisive. Both bring up the topics of snobbery, white privilege, over-education, assholes, and boating shoes. Both have had some deserved success and some undeserved success over their time. And perhaps most importantly...both are VERY white, with minor shades of brown...just enough to have "cred".
• Eventual Outcome: Both will disappoint at some point. This will cause many of the "devout" fans to claim they were only into them ironically in the first place.
  
• Optional Applicable Song: Heaven For The Weather (And Hell For The Company) - The Streets

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Weekend Wrap-Up - Oscar Edition

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative" ~ Oscar Wilde

"I love trash...I love it because it's trash" ~ Oscar The Grouch

I'm taking a moment here for self evaluation. I'll fully admit that my writing has not been up to snuff and that I've been recycling bits from last year's blog. I'm not necessarily going to CHANGE anything, I just wanted to disclose this in the hope that this blog will be an enjoyable experience for everyone, and that I'll continue to improve all the time. Thank you kindly. Tidings be.

Only 3 weeks left until selection Sunday. We're dangerously close to the beginning of the conference tournaments so it's time for this blog to push things forward. To do this, I'm going to attempt something never done before in the history of writing: create fake, Oscar'esque categories through which I'll describe some component of college basketball that took place over the weekend. Brilliant!

Best upset of the weekend: Take your pick - North Carolina lost to Maryland in overtime, UCLA got bumped by Washington St. at home, Oklahoma got shocked by Texas after Blake Griffin took one in the head, Robert Morris embarrassingly got tripped up by Wagner, Jerry Lewis continues to defeat death, and I actually ended up at the 31st Street Pub for a rock show.

Best performance picking Bracket Busters games: Not me. I went a passable 8-5 with my picks. I'm still not sure what the purpose was with those picks, except that I enjoy making picks. When in doubt (not the movie), go with the Missouri Valley Conference, they went 7-3 in their non-conference games this weekend. Phil does not win this category either as he went 0-1 with his picks, brashly choosing a shaken Davidson team over Butler.

Best team from Iowa this weekend: The Iowa Hawkeyes...narrowly beating out the Drake Bulldogs to win this category. Jake Kelly set career highs with 23 points and 9 rebounds (while playing all 45 minutes) in Iowa's overtime victory over Michigan on Saturday.

Best team in the Patriot League: American University. In a Patriot League battle for the ages, American U. defeated Holy Cross 56-50 on Saturday. The Crusaders had an opportunity to move into a first place tie in the conference with the Eagles, but it was not meant to be. Although these two squads split the season series...American U. is safely in first place and Holy Cross looks good to be the number two seed for the upcoming conference tournament.

Best props given from the stage during a performance: Bob, to me. Much thanks to you Bob for pimping my blog during the show this weekend. I'm not sure how many rock and roll kids are into the college basketball, but I don't care, it's the thought and props that count. I am truly humbled, though not yet famous. You definitely got the Toby Ziegler in you.

Best player in a "supporting" role: I know the Tar Heels lost this weekend, but after watching a couple of their games recently, I'm thinking that Ty Lawson is the real star of that team. Tyler Hansbrough receives most of the press and a lot of the fanfare...but Ty Lawson seems to be the leader of that squad. He's the player I'd want with the ball in his hands down 2 with under a minute remaining. Lawson has more skills and is more versatile than any of his teammates. He shouldn't be overshadowed by Hansbrough anymore. Am I wrong?

Best team to be ranked #1 in the nation tomorrow: Pitt! I'm giddy.

Best teams not bothering to recruit defensive players: Duke and Notre Dame. Both teams scored over 100 points in their wins this weekend. That's great and sexy and what-not, but come next month, those teams are going to play tough games in the tournament (NCAA or NIT) where that kind of shit ain't gonna fly. Athletic and physical teams win in march. Teams made up of twigs that have a knack for hitting three pointers don't go very far.

Best tirade by a coach: Jim Calhoun. The University of Connecticut head coach decides who is stupid and discusses the economic implications of athletic organizations while making me really want iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. Enjoy!

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